I decided to entrust a man I’ll call “PikaBird,” who I met on Tinder, with a monumental task: getting me pregnant. I knew there was a chance things could go terribly wrong. I didn’t care. I was placing my trust in him not because I was desperate, but because I was determined.
I had been yearning to experience motherhood since I was 29. Of course, life seemed to be constantly yanking me away from that potentiality. My longest relationship to that point — a messy courtship of three years — had just ended. I was juggling several part-time jobs that didn’t pay very well. I had moved around enough during my 20s that my support system was scattered across the country. There was no obvious path forward.
Except ― what was that feeling? Oh, right, an unmistakable, unflagging desire to become a mom. Some people in their late 20s might look at another person’s baby and think, Aww, how cute, I’m totally ready to be a parent when it makes sense in my life. For me, it was more like, Wow, yep, I must become a mom ― as soon as possible.
I had a dream that year about a tiny elephant — which I took to represent my baby — splashing around in a pond, looking for me. The dream, and its accompanying sensation of motherhood, was so vivid that I started decorating my apartment with elephants. I later even got a tattoo of the elephant on my left arm.
This so-called “baby fever” most certainly doesn’t affect all women. I didn’t want to be a cliche, tethered to whatever biological or societal phenomenon held me in its grip. But there I was, with a very real baby fever and a parallel anxiety that it would never happen that continued to ratchet up as I got older. I turned 30, 31, 32 — and still, I was single and babyless. I needed a plan.
I decided I would start the conception process on my own if things didn’t change soon. I hoped to conceive by age 35, which is when women’s fertility generally takes a dip, and I didn’t want to take any chances that would make it harder for me to get pregnant.
I decided I would start the conception process on my own if things didn’t change soon. I hoped to conceive by age 35, which is …read more
Source:: The Huffington Post – UK Tec