Five Years On From My Husband’s Death, The Grief Is Different. But The Love Never Wavers

Courtesy of the author

My dearest Rob,

On 28 May, it will be the fifth year I’ll light a candle in your name, to mark the day you left this world. The symbolism matters: light to replace the darkest place you were in.

Five years seems like a long time to some, but on the astral highway of grief, it can seem like five minutes, a day, a month. The grief that comes with suicide has changed over the years – it is no longer like being continuously plunged into fire – but the thing that hasn’t changed is how much you are loved.

It feels important to say this because I feel one of the reasons why you took that final, irreversible step was because you thought our lives would be easier without you in it. Dear heart, that was not true for a moment – but your depression, and the shame you felt around your addiction, convinced you that it was.

Five years ago,
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Source:: The Huffington Post – UK Tec


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