Why Adopt When You Can Have Birth Children?

It’s one of those questions that many of us might have in our heads but never actually verbalise. After all, it sounds rude, doesn’t it? As if we’re questioning someone’s life choices – something we know never, ever, to do in 21st-century Britain. (Do you catch a whiff of sarcasm?)

Well, here’s an answer. It’s my answer, and it may not be everyone’s, but here it is.

If you’d asked me in October 2011, when I was sat up in the night feeding our newborn, reading post after post on my friend’s adoption blog, I may have said something about God pulling on my heart strings in a way that He hadn’t previously. Surely the conversion of, “I’d rather not adopt…unless we have to” into, “I’m desperate to adopt – how much longer do we have to wait?” is answer enough.

You see, we were never making the decision between adoption and the usual route. We hadn’t had a serious discussion about whether to go for a third child or not – in our off-the-cuff comments to one another it was possible that I was keen and he was not, but I think now that God protected us from getting deep into these conversations, so that we might consider adoption on its own merits, and not as an alternative to having a birth child.

If you’d asked me in April 2015, when we attended an adoption preparation course, I’d have struggled to answer. Here we were, sat in a room full of those who couldn’t have children – heterosexual couples let down by the crueller side of nature, and homosexual couples who had limited options for having a family – knowing that, to the best of our knowledge, the equipment we possessed for bringing a new life into the world was still fully-operational. Why were we here?

It’s a question I blurted out to my social worker once the course was over. I wasn’t thinking of pulling out – more playing Devil’s advocate, challenging this experienced professional to tell us, like some competitive reality TV show, why we should remain in the process.

Her answer was wise and insightful, and we’ve quoted it many times in conversation with others. “It’s all about the child”, she said. “He needs to find the right family for him. The more families who enter the pool, the better the chances for the child.”

And that was it. A complete reversal of …read more

Source:: The Huffington Post – UK Tec

      

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