We have three children’s birthdays in my house: three that we remember and mark every year. But only two of them come with the reams of presents, the frenetic energy, the birthday tea and dressing up games. That’s because the third birthday is for our much-longed for and loved middle child who tragically became an angel baby.
Sadly, far too many families face baby loss. Whatever stage in your journey you experience the devastation, it’s a significant and singular one and one that I’m glad more and more people are opening up about. Baby Loss Awareness Week is important for so many reasons and I’ll be joining in with the wave of light on 15th October.
I received incredible support from my family and friends – in fact, one of the most thoughtful gifts I got became the impetus for me to start my own business – but I do understand it’s hard to find the right words or actions and it’s easy to say the wrong things. Everyone’s different but the following is based on what helped me when we were going through our most difficult time.
Acknowledge the baby
Firstly, don’t say nothing at all. Please say something, even if the words don’t come easily. Secondly, it’s easy to dismiss this as a pregnancy loss. But remember this was an actual baby – their baby, a part of their family. Speak about the baby and write about the baby as you would any living children. Speak fondly and naturally about them. Also, remember the birth order. Our baby was our middle child. Just because they have one or more living children, it’s still important to acknowledge that this little life was once here and will always be a part of their family.
Don’t dwell on how pregnant someone was when they lost the …read more
Source:: The Huffington Post – UK Lifestyle