Life as a drinker is fairly boring and monotonous.
Combine that with a feeling of being emotionally numb. Spiritually empty.
And there becomes a real need for drama, just to feel like something is happening.
Or even feel at all.
I courted drama as a drinker. Bloody loved it.
Revelled in its presence.
I still panicked when things went wrong though, so life was a constant push-pull emotion of,”oh no I did something bad-phew thank god something is actually happening.”
Gossip. Bitching. Causing trouble in my romantic relationships. These were all great ways of courting drama.
The stupid things I did whilst drunk could also bring an element of drama to my life.
But probably my histrionics the day after, in response to my hangover and vague memories of me doing something shameful whilst drunk, were the most handy for dramatic responses.
I could get days of drama out of that.
When I first stopped drinking, I almost missed the excuse for drama.
Because I was so very used to having it around.
That was before I discovered there didn’t have to be an empty emotional chasm inside me.
That I could fill this emptiness with happiness, peace, stability and contentment.
And that these emotions ran so deep, they made superficial drama look and feel utterly ridiculous.
I love my drama-free life. I adore my drama-free marriage, friends and family.
Because all of my relationships really are genuinely drama-free. I stopped tolerating it a long time ago.
At first I did it by trying to confront it and telling it loudly to go away.
But that’s fighting drama with drama, so of course it didn’t work.
Then I had to work out which section of my life I was still being dramatic in, to bring this to my door.
Turns out it was work.
So I changed the channel I was working for, and deliberately made new habits from day one.
These …read more
Source:: The Huffington Post – UK Lifestyle